Swiping threw the pin pad
Losing money every second
Not keeping track of how much i use
Not keeping track of what i lose
I feel like just another card in my home
Something with no feelings
Just a regular card
Not being taken care of
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
6 comments:
u got no comments
cool poem i like line 3-4 expecially
at the end i suggest you put as the last 3 lines "I am a wonderful present giver" next line "only to be stuffed into a stuffy leather pouch" next line
"and slowly be forgotten"
Yo,
You said regular card 3 times! Get to a knew point. You also don't use any puncuaition. It is not bad, though. You forgot to put a space between fellings just and on the second last line you very good maybe you can talk about the bank a bit and how you get transfered
it is a bit to short but the content is pretty good. you didnt use very much punctuation with doesnt effect your peom that much but you should probablye change it. you said regular card about three times you might want to lower that to like 2 or 1. the ending is fairley strong tho.
Dear Piggy,
My favorite line is "Not keeping track of how much i use, Not keeping track of how much i lose"
I think you should find a new word, you say regular three times, also i think your topic/theme for this poem was a little superficial. Overall i think your poem is pretty good.
Andrew Medjuck
This is just too short and keeps repeating the same line CHHESE
Post a Comment